Am I really listening or am I just ignoring?
For the past month I’ve been struggling with the fact that I feel like the Lord is asking me to quit one of the jobs I have. It’s been so hard for me because I can’t really afford to only work one job, I like the job I would be quitting, and the extra money I make there is helping me to save. In all honesty I’ve just been pretty scared because in my mind it would be a struggle, and not as secure as I am now. It would mean I would actually have to put some real trust and faith in the Lord instead of just pretending I’m trusting him like a lot of us do sometimes.
Every time I would hear the Lords gently nudge of “please be obedient, I want you to quit this job,” I would give the Lord some excuse like, “well I can’t afford it, plus I’m saving so much money and that’s wise.” And with that he would always bring Matthew 6:19 to my mind which says, “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.” After he would remind me of that little gem in the bible, I would try to just avoid it and not really think about it at all. Yet somehow all throughout the day I would hear him whisper, “Just TRUST me Charity, just trust me.”
Today as I drove home I had a podcast playing but I wasn’t really focussed on what was being preached because I was deep in thought in my own head. This issue weighed heavier on my heart than I could handle. The thought alone of how disobedient I have been and how much I’ve put my trust and invested in a paycheck here on Earth was just sickening me inside.
I ran home long enough to change my clothes from one job and head back out to the other but I decided to stop and ask my mom to pray for me because I told her what I felt like the Lord was saying to me. Of course she had a few quick wise and encouraging words as always and I was on my way. As I walked out of the door to my car I was on the verge of tears and thinking, “I just don’t know how I’m going to do this. Is this really what you want me to do Lord?” As I got in my car and started to turn the key the podcast started blaring right in the middle of the sentence…. “JUST SURRENDER IT TO ME, I REALLY WILL TAKE CARE OF THINGS” blasted through my speakers and I instantly began to sob.
I still have no idea what the rest of the podcast is even about but the Lord had that podcast play on my way home and cued up for his perfect purpose when I got back into my car. I just want to say that the Lord is faithful even though we may not be sometimes. Even though we may need him to tell us the same thing 900 times until we get it through our heads, he is patient with us. He takes the time to speak to us individually and clearly until he knows when we will listen. He deals with us on a personal level.
So tomorrow I’m going to go put in my 2 weeks notice that I’m quitting and I’m going to trust in my heavenly Father. I’ll be honest I am still a bit nervous about quitting, but I have a perfect peace and confidence that the Lord is going to take care of me. Like I said, He is faithful, and there is no denying that. For he even takes care of and watches over the birds so how much more valuable am I to him. He is my God, and I want to please him in ALL that I do.
Hebrews 13:5
Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”
I am struggling, and those close to me have seen it, they know it. Thankfully they have been there for me. This is like no other struggle I have gone through, because I refuse to give up on God. My Father will help me through this. I will make it. I will rejoice in my storm because He is faithful.
A Letter From God
My dear sweet child,
How I love you. I see your struggles and I feel your pain. I hear your worries and I hold your broken heart (2 Corinthians 1:3-5). Don’t give up on me because I am here holding your hand. Don’t forget that I chose you (John 15:16) and loved you before you ever loved me (1John 4:19).
I want you to know that this road you have chosen to follow me isn’t easy, but it is worth it. I know I am not the popular choice among your peers but what I offer is much more satisfying than what they can offer you (John 16:33). This walk will not be easy and you will be mocked and judged for following me (Isaiah 54:17), but remember that I bought you with a price…my blood and now you belong to me, you are my child (Revelation 5:9). Because you are my child you are in the world but no longer part of it (John 15:19). The world will hate you because of me, but I will honor you in the end (Matthew 10:22).
I will be your refuge and your strength when this world becomes too much (Psalm 46:1). Let me take care of your hurt for you (1 Peter 5:7). Even though you are persecuted because of me my grace is sufficient and my strength is made perfect in weakness(2 Corinthians 12:9-10). Remember above all else that YOU BELONG TO ME and nothing else matters in this world (1 Corinthians 3:23).
Love,
Your Heavenly Father
2 Corinthians 1:3-5: Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.
John 15:16: You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.
1John 4:19: We love because he first loved us.
John 16:33: I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.
Isaiah 54:17:no weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and this is their vindication from me,” declares the LORD.
Revelation 5:9: And they sang a new song: “You are worthy to take the scroll and to open its seals, because you were slain, and with your blood you purchased men for God from every tribe and language and people and nation.
John 15:19: If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.
Matthew 10:22: All men will hate you because of me, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved.
Psalm 46:1: God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.
1 Peter 5:7: Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10: But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
1 Corinthians 3:23: and you belong to Christ, and Christ belongs to God.
Subject Content vs Heart Content
I feel like so many of us as Christians want to set a good example for the world in the way we live our lives, yet we are the first ones to start rationalizing why we should be able to do what we want when we know it’s wrong. Sometimes we may not even feel convicted or truly know the dangers of letting it into our lives and hearts yet we choose to remain blinded by our own sin.
I’ll admit it, up until about 5 months ago, I was watching a show called The Inbetweeners that I thought was hilarious. I knew the content of the show was completely filthy, but I told myself it was okay to watch because I just thought it was funny, and it wasn’t like I would ever talk like that. I did the same thing with music. I rationalized listening to music with filthy content because “I liked the beat” or didn’t really listen to the words. I found myself saying things that I shouldn’t be saying just to get a laugh or rationalizing something I wanted to do because it’s not something I would “do all the time”.
This is dangerous territory and God tells us in Luke 16:10 “He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much; and he who is unjust in what is least is unjust also in much.” How do you expect the Lord to use you and be a true witness to the world, if you are willing to rationalize your own sin and let it make a home in your heart?
Most of the time I feel convicted when I know I’m doing something wrong, but there are also those times that I think every other Christian has where it seems like the answer isn’t black or white, but rather falls in a “gray” area. You aren’t sure if it’s right or wrong. I struggled with this sort of thing when it came to music. For example: I wasn’t listening to Candy Shop by 50 Cent but I also wasn’t listening to Our God by Chris Tomlin. I was just listening to the bands I liked that sang about love, and life and what not. Was it wrong of me to be listening to something that wasn’t directly about Christ?
In this instance I personally think this could be both 100% fine and 100% wrong. I’m not as legalistic to say that a Christian can’t listen to any other type of music except praise and worship but I’m also not as loose to say a Christian can listen to pretty much whatever they want. If I want to listen to a “love” song but it stirs up desire and lust within my heart, I probably shouldn’t be listening to it. On the other hand if I’m listening to just a fun summer song that talks about enjoying friends, I don’t really see anything wrong with that. l think content alone should dictate whether or not we let something in, and I think what our sinful nature makes something, even if the content is innocent should dictate what we let in.
If you aren’t so sure where the line is, or what exactly is acceptable and pleasing in the Lords eyes, then question and ask God, “is this something I should be spending my/your time on God? Is this glorifying to you or lifting you up in any way?” If you’re still struggling after that, this should help:
Don’t watch it if Jesus died for it.
Don’t listen to it if Jesus died for it.
Don’t say it if Jesus died for it.
Don’t do it if Jesus died for it.
Pretty simple.
Colossians 3:1-4
Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.
