Finished! Anyone have a good suggestion of what verse I can do next? (Taken with instagram)
Am I really listening or am I just ignoring?
For the past month I’ve been struggling with the fact that I feel like the Lord is asking me to quit one of the jobs I have. It’s been so hard for me because I can’t really afford to only work one job, I like the job I would be quitting, and the extra money I make there is helping me to save. In all honesty I’ve just been pretty scared because in my mind it would be a struggle, and not as secure as I am now. It would mean I would actually have to put some real trust and faith in the Lord instead of just pretending I’m trusting him like a lot of us do sometimes.
Every time I would hear the Lords gently nudge of “please be obedient, I want you to quit this job,” I would give the Lord some excuse like, “well I can’t afford it, plus I’m saving so much money and that’s wise.” And with that he would always bring Matthew 6:19 to my mind which says, “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.” After he would remind me of that little gem in the bible, I would try to just avoid it and not really think about it at all. Yet somehow all throughout the day I would hear him whisper, “Just TRUST me Charity, just trust me.”
Today as I drove home I had a podcast playing but I wasn’t really focussed on what was being preached because I was deep in thought in my own head. This issue weighed heavier on my heart than I could handle. The thought alone of how disobedient I have been and how much I’ve put my trust and invested in a paycheck here on Earth was just sickening me inside.
I ran home long enough to change my clothes from one job and head back out to the other but I decided to stop and ask my mom to pray for me because I told her what I felt like the Lord was saying to me. Of course she had a few quick wise and encouraging words as always and I was on my way. As I walked out of the door to my car I was on the verge of tears and thinking, “I just don’t know how I’m going to do this. Is this really what you want me to do Lord?” As I got in my car and started to turn the key the podcast started blaring right in the middle of the sentence…. “JUST SURRENDER IT TO ME, I REALLY WILL TAKE CARE OF THINGS” blasted through my speakers and I instantly began to sob.
I still have no idea what the rest of the podcast is even about but the Lord had that podcast play on my way home and cued up for his perfect purpose when I got back into my car. I just want to say that the Lord is faithful even though we may not be sometimes. Even though we may need him to tell us the same thing 900 times until we get it through our heads, he is patient with us. He takes the time to speak to us individually and clearly until he knows when we will listen. He deals with us on a personal level.
So tomorrow I’m going to go put in my 2 weeks notice that I’m quitting and I’m going to trust in my heavenly Father. I’ll be honest I am still a bit nervous about quitting, but I have a perfect peace and confidence that the Lord is going to take care of me. Like I said, He is faithful, and there is no denying that. For he even takes care of and watches over the birds so how much more valuable am I to him. He is my God, and I want to please him in ALL that I do.
Hebrews 13:5
Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”
But the words you speak come from the heart—that’s what defiles you.
—Mark 15:18
1 Corinthians 7:23
You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men.
Week 2 Day 1
Genesis 18:16-19:38
Matthew 6:25-7:14
Psalm 8:1-9
Proverbs 2:6-15
Matthew 6:26
“Look at the birds, they don’t plant or harvest or store up food in barns, for you heavenly father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are?”
Let Down
I think I expect too much out of people. I expect them to meet my standards, and I set them high. It’s not something I do on purpose, but rather I was just raised that way. The thing is, it’s beginning to hurt me when I’m let down. I know it’s my fault and I bring it on myself, but I expect a lot from the people I love because I know they are capable of it. I just can’t handle being let down so much.
I need to start putting ALL my expectations in Christ. He is the only one who won’t let me down, who won’t disappoint, and will always deliver. I know this in my head, but I find myself continuing to look to other people to fufill me sometimes, and it just never works. In fact like I said before, I’m let down and end up feeling worse then when I started.
Forgive me Lord for looking to anyone but you. No family member, no friend, no boy, no job…nothing can take your place. You fulfill my every need without me even having to ask. Everything I have belongs to you, and most importantly, I belong to you. Please continue to do your work in me. Change my heart and help me to grow. I love you.
Psalm 62:5
Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.
